I'm With Stupid
by Blaine's Tummy
Summary: Noah Puckerman wore that specific shirt, not because of recent sexual events, but because she's transgender and hates her penis. Puck/Finn Rating could change.


"Finn," Mrs. Puckerman greeted the boy then stood off to the side, opening the door a little wider "come on in. Puck's upstairs in his room." She shut the door as the tall teen stepped inside, appearing to be a little tipsy as she stumbled.

"Thanks, Mrs. P," Finn replied, smiling politely at her, used to seeing the woman drunk, hands in his pockets. He trotted up the stairs, one hand hovering over the rail to catch him if he happened to stumble over his own clumsy feet.

It had been a week since the "Born This Way Blowout"- as ND preferred to call it and Finn was at Puck's house because Saturday's were Date Night for Carole and Burt. Kurt had already claimed that he and Mercedes were heading to the mall and Finn didn't want to be all alone on a weeknight so he decided to drop by his best friend's place- without warning because, well, they were best friends. Was a warning really necessary?

Finn's footsteps were muffled by the carpet so there wasn't really any warning for Puck before his door was pushed open. Puck- or, Noel, as she was firmly set within her female identity- jumped to face the intruder and let out a fairly feminine squeal, quickly covering the bra she had filled with toilet paper- placed where her breasts should be. "Close your eyes!" she demanded, her voice still squeaky and high-pitched, having not yet processed that the boy standing before her only knew Noah Puckerman, his best friend- not Noel Puckerman, his crush; she only knew that her crush was standing in the door, and had seen her half-naked.

Finn hurriedly did so, shutting his eyes tight, feeling as if he'd just walked in on his mom while she was dressing, blushing up a storm, completely and utterly confused as things began to fall into place; Noah Puckerman, his best _man _friend- though he secretly had the biggest crush on him but he _wasn't gay_ and, surely, neither was Noah- was standing in front of him wearing skinny jeans and a bra stuffed with some type of flexible paper like toilet paper or paper towels.

"Oh shit," Noel muttered, her voice dropping a little closer to the normal tone Finn was used to hearing, her voice quivering, figuring that, yeah, her crush was about to kick her ass and then tell the whole school that she was gay and liked to dress like a chick.

But Noel wasn't gay. She wasn't even a dude. She was a transgender, straight woman. … not that the world knew her as anything other than Noah Puckerman- straight, male, man-whore. And she hated herself for not being what the world saw her as. Being a man-whore was a hell of a lot better than being transgender and hating the body you were born with. And, because you hated the body you were born with, you forced yourself to whore your hated body out to every willing woman you came across.

Goddammit, when had she let her life get so out of her control?

"What... the fuck?" Finn inquired, his voice a little higher because he was panicking over how turned on he was by seeing Puck looking like this, even considering the obvious falsity of the boobs and the fact that he knew, from quick locker room peaks, that Puck was well-equipped with the normal male penis and balls.

Noel hid her face within her hands, turning away from the Frankenteen. She was shaking a little. "This... this is who I am, Finn." Her voice even shook. "Now, you can hate me and leave and never speak to me again, but please... _please_ don't hurt me." She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a dry chuckle. "I can't rock a black eye and I've found that covering up bruises is a hell of a lot harder when your mother won't show you how to properly use makeup and you have to take advice from your nine-year-old sister."

Finn tentatively took a step forward, eyes still closed. "Who, exactly, are you?" he inquired, voice as cautious as his gait. "And I would never hurt you..." He couldn't even bare the thought of his crush being hurt- even if the same person got his used-to-be girlfriend knocked up.

Noel opened her eyes and turned back to Finn, still slightly frightened but a bit relaxed by the boy's words. "I'm... I'm a girl, Finn. I'm transgender- a transwoman. Meaning... I'm a girl inside of this male body. I like guys in a straight way but I have a stupid fucking _penis_," she spit out the male-normative word, "making it nearly impossible for me to flirt without being accused of being gay."

Finn was a little confused, having never heard of such a thing. How could a man hate his junk? But... Noah, apparently,... wasn't... a man? He was a... she? He wanted to be with guys in a... straight way? He wanted a vagina and boobs?

As he thought it over, things started to fall into place. Noah's "Born This Way Blowout" shirt had said "I'm with Stupid" with an arrow pointing at his junk; everyone had immediately assumed he was talking about all of the times he had slept with different older women and teenage girls but, with the new information, Finn now realized it was because he hated the fact that he was born with the wrong genitals.

There was also the few times he had seen Puck checking out men's asses, the times when his voice got unnaturally high for no reason, the skirt he had found laying on his bedroom floor which he had claimed was his mom's, and the makeup stash he had found while snooping around his friend's room when he was asleep...

"I... I think I understand," he said, taking another blind step forward. "Are you... decent?"

"Erm, no. Wait a sec." Noel floundered about, searching for the shirt she had suddenly forgotten the placement of and found it laying on her bed along with the tight-fitting undershirt that would help her bra stay in place when there was no flesh keeping it firm against her olive-skin. She slips them both on, careful to keep her bra in place then tentatively murmurs, "I'm... You can open your eyes."

Finn does so and finally takes in his best friend. It really does look like he... erm... she had boobs and, somehow, she managed to keep the bulge from being noticeable with those mega-tight jeans and he mentally winced at the possibilities. His eyes trailed back up to her face and found those eyes that searched his soul and were the most beautiful thing he'd seen in forever.

"Noel," she said, smiling shyly as her crush finally saw- actually saw- her for who she really was.

"Hm?" Finn hummed, not understanding, as he continued walking closer to the girl. He'd always known that he would be gay for Puck back when he only knew Puck as a guy but, now that he knew who Puck really was, he could finally pursue her without changing his sexual orientation.

… Considering how Puck thought on the idea of Finn pursuing her.

Noel blushed at the almost-hungry gaze Finn was fixating upon her. "My-my name... it's Noel. You... you can call me that if you want." She took a deep breath, taking a small step away from Finn who suddenly stood very, _very _close in front of her. "Erm, you're taking this quite well." She wasn't complaining, just confused and wondering if he was about to explode.

Finn shrugged. "Well, you're my best friend. It would have still been the same if I had known you were a chick because you would have still been the most bad ass person I know... Well, we probably wouldn't have slept over with each other so much but, hey, what happens, happens."

Noel smirked. "I still am Ambadassador of McKinley." She ran a hand across her mohawk, turning around to check herself out in the full-length mirror. Nervously, she rubbed down the wrinkles on her shirt, her eyes flickering to meet Finn's as he stepped into place behind her, his head almost resting on her shoulder.

"Of course. Nothing can take away from your badass-ness... but I don't think the frills are helping..." He smirked, playing with her shirt with such gentle hands.

She had never known Finn was capable of such gentleness. Well, now that she thought about it, it didn't make sense for the boy to be manhandling Quinn or Rachel. Blushing, she glanced down at where Finn was so close to touching her; touching her in a totally-not-manly manner. She was utterly speechless.

"I like them, though... you look beautiful."

Noel gasped, her eyes watering with tears she wouldn't have shed in any other situation, but this was Finn, her best friend, and he was suddenly holding her, placing his hands at her hips and pulling her flush against his body, and his touch was so gentle and no one had ever touched her that gently or called her beautiful, and she just had to cry when she saw the loving look Finn was giving her with those beautiful eyes that showed so much heart-wrenching emotion.

"What's the matter, Noel?" Finn asked, gazing at the tears pooling in her eyes.

She cried harder, hearing her name pass easily and without hesitation from the boy's lips. "Can you... can you kiss me?" she asked, thinking it was probably the stupidest thing she'd ever ask in her life, considering that, in about two seconds, her nose would be oozing snot, but she just wanted to show Finn how much she loved him... and hope that, someday, he could requite it.

Finn's eyes widened in surprise but he nodded eagerly, for those were words he'd been hoping for years that his best friend would, someday, utter in his direction. Well, that, and 'I love you, please be mine and allow me to be yours'. _But this is a start_, he thought happily as he tilted his head slightly downwards, watching as Noel's eyes slid closed and she puckered her lips just so, and he did the same before gently pressing their lips together. It was a mere ghost of a kiss, scared and hesitant and all kinds of unsure but the feeling it sparked within them made them eager to carry on, deepening the kiss.

Noel slid her previously limp arms over the quarterback's buff shoulders to lock behind his neck. She eagerly kissed him back and, deciding that, for once in her life, she'd put a cliché to good use, jutted her leg out behind her, giggling just a little as she drew back for a gasp of air, only to have her lips captured once again.

He found himself chuckling just little as he pulled away at how innocently desperately cute Noel was being. Wrapping his arms firmly around her waist, locking them behind her back, he kept her secure to his chest, playfully dipping down to test the waters with a few, sloppy kisses, smiling against the girl's smiling lips.

He couldn't even bring himself to notice, much less care, the lack of fleshy mounds pressing up against his chest. Instead, the closeness was flattening the previously extended bra but none of them noticed; they were having too much fun exploring how good it felt to have their lips pressed to each other's- one dry and crackly, the other soft and smooth and moist. There wasn't any tongue, no urgency to take it a step further; just a relaxed, playful banter of wordless lips.

This didn't stop until a childish giggle, sounding from the doorway, interrupted them.

"Sarah!" Noel exclaimed, sounding positively scandalized, gaping at the retreating form of her younger sister, dressed in green, immediately placing both feet firmly on the ground and unwrapping her arms from Finn's neck.

Feeling none of the embarrassment that his crush appeared to, Finn fell onto the girl's bed in a fit of laughter. "Perhaps we should close the door next time."

On the inside, Noel beamed at the thought of a next time; on the outside, she was furious that the boy found this even remotely funny. She grabbed the nearest pillow and gave him a solid _whack! _to the chest. "Stop laughing, you big buffoon!"


End file.
